Monday, April 1, 2024

How does a good husband respond when his wife is upset?

When the Storm Clouds Gather: A Husband's Guide to Navigating a Wife's Upset



Marriage, a beautiful tapestry woven with love, respect, and understanding, will inevitably face moments of disagreement and frustration. In these times, the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) serves as the ultimate role model for husbands, demonstrating exemplary conduct in navigating a wife's upset.


Patience: A Pillar of Strength [صبرٌ جَمِيلٌ – Sabrun Jameel]


The Quran emphasizes patience (صبرٌ) as a cornerstone of a successful marriage. Allah (SWT) says:


وَٱصْبِرُوٓا۟ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ ٤٦


Waṣbiruu inna Allaha ma'a Aṣ-Ṣaabireen


And be patient, indeed, Allah is with the patient. (Quran 8:46)


Al-Bukhaari (1496) and Muslim (1053) narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) said:


The Messenger of Allah ﷺ (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:


“…whoever is patient Allah will bestow patience upon him, and no one is ever given anything better and more generous than patience.”


Whoever is enjoined to do something good must accept the advice, even if he does not know the one who is giving it. This is an understanding from the hadīth of the woman the Prophet ﷺ passed by while she was weeping at a grave [al-Bukhaari (1283) and Muslim (926)].


Kind Words: Soothing the Soul [كَلِمَةٌ طَيِّبَةٌ – Kalimah Tayyibah]


The Prophet (ﷺ) instructed his companions on using kind words, even in moments of disagreement. A Hadith narrated by Inn Majah teaches:


خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي.‏



"The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." (Sunan Ibn Majah 1977)


Using gentle and understanding language can significantly de-escalate a tense situation. Opt for "I statements" that focus on your feelings and avoid placing blame. Phrases like "I feel hurt when..." or "Can you help me understand why you're upset?" can open doors to constructive dialogue.


Active Listening: Understanding Her Perspective [فَاسْتَمِعُوا لَهُنَّ – Fastami'u Lahunna]


The Quran reminds us of the importance of listening attentively:


﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَجِيبُوا لِلَّهِ وَلِلرَّسُولِ إِذَا دَعَاكُمْ لِمَا يُحْيِيكُمْ ۖ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَحُولُ بَيْنَ الْمَرْءِ وَقَلْبِهِ وَأَنَّهُ إِلَيْهِ تُحْشَرُونَ﴾

[ الأنفال: 24]


English - Sahih International


8:24 O you who have believed, respond to Allah and to the Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life. And know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart and that to Him you will be gathered.




Actively listen to your wife's concerns, giving her your full attention. Avoid interrupting or dismissing her feelings. Try to understand her perspective and validate her emotions.


Seeking Forgiveness: Acknowledging Mistakes [اسْتَغْفِرُوا اللَّهَ – Istaghfiru Allah]


Sometimes, a husband's actions or words might contribute to his wife's upset. The Prophet (ﷺ) himself sought forgiveness readily, as mentioned in a Hadīth narrated by Muslim:


Al-Agharr Al-Muzani (May Allah be pleased with him) said:


The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Sometimes I perceive a veil over my heart, and I supplicate Allah for forgiveness a hundred times in a day."


[Muslim].


وعن الأغر المزني رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال‏:‏ ‏ "‏إنه ليغان على قلبي، وإني لأستغفر الله في اليوم مائة مرة‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه مسلم‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

(Riyad as-Salihin 1869: Book 19, Hadith 1)


If you recognize a mistake, don't hesitate to apologize sincerely. A genuine apology demonstrates respect and strengthens the marital bond.


Remember:


These are just a few guiding principles based on Islamic teachings. Every situation is unique, and open communication is crucial. By incorporating these practices, a husband can navigate his wife's upset with empathy, understanding, and ultimately, strengthen the foundation of his marriage.


#IslamicMarriage #HusbandlyAdvice #ProphetMuhammad #MarriageTips #MuslimRelationships


Saturday, January 27, 2024

Raising Future Leaders: A Parent's Guide to Raising Grounded Individuals


[Parent-Child Relationship (from U splash)]



By Abraham Sequoia


In the intricate fabric of parenting, guiding our children through the challenging terrain of adolescence requires wisdom and intentionality. Here, I share reflections and strategies that have shaped my journey as a parent, navigating the delicate balance of instilling values, fostering religious understanding, and building character.


 1. Dua: The Pillar of Strength 🤲

Our journey begins with supplication. Recognizing that guidance is a divine favor, we offer prayers for the steadfastness and righteousness of our children. Drawing inspiration from the trials faced by prophets, we understand that faith is a gift from Allah, not guaranteed by our desires.


 2. Early Shaping of Interests 🌱

In the formative years of 7 to 13, our children's minds are like clay, waiting to be molded. Deliberately curating their activities, from Hifz sessions to quality playtime, helps build a foundation that resonates with righteousness. By shaping their experiences, we subtly shape their character.


 3. Knowledge of Allah: Beyond Memorization 📚

While Hifz lays the foundation, delving into the meanings of verses, prophetic stories, and moral exhortations offers a holistic understanding of their religious identity. Outsourcing some aspects to teachers is fine, but active parental involvement in imparting wisdom is irreplaceable.


 4. Choosing Good Company 👥

In the profound words of the Prophet, "A man is on the religion of his friend." Guarding against associations that trivialize religion is crucial. Our children don't engage with friends from homes where faith is secondary or an afterthought.


 5. Maximizing Control: A Time-Bound Opportunity ⏰

Up until around age 15, we can actively shape their schedules. Seizing this window, we fill their time with meaningful activities, from extra lessons to religious classes. As they transition to adult-like interests, family engagement in religious circles becomes pivotal.


 6. Navigating the Smartphone Dilemma 📱

Strategically delaying smartphone access fosters a sense of responsibility and limits undue privacy. While practical constraints may necessitate earlier access, setting clear boundaries remains crucial to maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship.


 7. Kindness and Love: The Lasting Connection ❤️

As they reach 17 and beyond, our strongest tool is kindness. Fostering a deep, genuine connection ensures that our children continue to value our guidance. Love becomes the binding force that transcends age, making our influence enduring.


In conclusion, the journey of parenting is a dynamic one, requiring adaptability and unwavering commitment. By combining prayer, intentional guidance, and genuine love, we set the stage for our children to blossom into grounded, responsible individuals.


```Abraham Sequoia  

(A Parent from ME)```


_Follow for more insights on parenting, faith, and family._

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Nurturing Tomorrow's Leaders: Beyond Comfort to Character




In the dynamic landscape of parenting, it is essential to shift our focus from merely providing comforts to actively preparing our children for the challenges that lie ahead. In recent times, there has been a noticeable positive generational change among conscious Muslim families, particularly in places like Lagos.


Gone are the days when poverty defined the significance of religious choices like wearing the Niqab. Now, Muslim schools, established by conscious individuals, are offering education that exceeds standards, creating an environment where excellence is not just encouraged but expected. These schools have become a stronghold, not only in Lagos but also in other regions, from Abuja to Kaduna and Kano.


The shift doesn't stop at primary and secondary education; it extends to higher learning institutions. Muslim students are no longer known as dropouts but as scholars venturing into universities globally, from the Nile University to institutions in Egypt, Canada, the US, and the UK.


One of the challenges of the past, moving with the Niqab in public spaces, is slowly becoming a thing of the past. The support from like-minded sisters has created a sense of community, making it easier for women to practice their faith without feeling like strangers in their own cities.


Similarly, brothers have found support in practicing the Sunnah with beards and modest clothing. The difficulties faced in the past are gradually fading away as brothers find camaraderie in various settings, including programs, halqahs, and their children's schools.


Finding quality Sunnah-based madrasahs was once a challenge, but now, they exist in different cities, often in boarding house formats. The standards desired for Islamic education are met, and these institutions play a crucial role in nurturing the future generation.


Amidst this positive change, it's crucial to acknowledge and appreciate the individuals contributing to this transformation. These unsung heroes have faced trials to elevate the community. The key now is to harness these resources within different organizations and communities, providing ongoing support to those in need and guiding the younger generation.


As parents, it is our responsibility to expose our children to the realities of life, ensuring they are not over-pampered but well-prepared for the future. While the path may not always be rosy, instilling a strong reliance on Allah is the cornerstone of their success in both this world and the hereafter.


Our children are indeed on the brink of a promising future, and it is our duty to guide them toward a path of knowledge, resilience, and faith. May Allah make the knowledge and practice of the Deen beloved to their hearts, increasing them in 'Eemaan, and making them better than us. Ameen.


In this journey of parenting, let us unite and strive for a future where our children not only navigate the challenges of life but emerge as leaders who contribute positively to society.

Saturday, October 14, 2023

BE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR HEALTH EVEN IN BATHING!




Both normal or ordinary water baths and warm water baths can contribute to healthy living for adults over 40 years of age. The choice between them often comes down to personal preference, comfort, and individual needs. Here are some considerations:

1. **Normal Water Bath (Cold or Lukewarm)**:
   - **Refreshing**: A cold or lukewarm bath can be refreshing, especially in hot weather.
   - **Vasoconstriction**: Cold water may promote vasoconstriction (narrowing of blood vessels), potentially improving circulation and reducing inflammation.
   - **Energy Boost**: Some people find that a cold shower in the morning can help increase alertness and energy.

2. **Warm Water Bath**:
   - **Relaxation**: A warm bath can promote relaxation and reduce stress, which is beneficial for overall well-being.
   - **Muscle Relaxation**: Warm water can help relieve muscle tension and joint stiffness, which is particularly helpful as people age and may experience musculoskeletal issues.
   - **Better Sleep**: A warm bath before bedtime can improve sleep quality.

The key to healthy living is balance. You don't necessarily have to choose one over the other. You can incorporate both types of baths into your routine, depending on your needs and the time of day. For example, a warm bath in the evening to relax and promote sleep, and a refreshing cold shower in the morning for an energy boost.

Regardless of your choice, it's important to maintain good hygiene and stay hydrated. Also, remember to consult with a healthcare professional if you have specific medical conditions that might affect your choice of bathing temperature.

#HealthIsWealth
#SafetyFirst
#StayAlive

Researched by:
BOLAJI M. Anifowose
October 14, 2023

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

ORGANIZATIONAL IMPORTANCE OF CODE OF CONDUCT AND HOW BEST TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT!

 A Code of Conduct serves several important purposes in an organization:


1. **Establishing Expectations:** It sets clear expectations for behavior and standards of ethics within the organization. This helps employees understand what is considered acceptable and unacceptable conduct.


2. **Promoting Ethical Behavior:** A Code of Conduct reinforces ethical principles and values that the organization holds dear. It guides employees in making ethical decisions and actions.


3. **Creating a Positive Culture:** It contributes to fostering a positive and respectful workplace culture. When everyone understands and follows the code, it promotes a harmonious and inclusive environment.


4. **Protecting Reputation:** By adhering to a Code of Conduct, organizations can protect their reputation and credibility. Ethical behavior reduces the risk of scandals or misconduct that could harm the organization's image.


5. **Mitigating Legal Risks:** Having clear guidelines can help mitigate legal risks. It provides a basis for addressing issues like harassment, discrimination, or other legal concerns in a structured manner.


6. **Improving Decision-Making:** Employees can refer to the code when facing ethical dilemmas. This can aid in better decision-making by aligning choices with the organization's values.


7. **Enhancing Accountability:** The code often includes disciplinary measures for violations. This holds employees accountable for their actions and ensures consequences for misconduct.


8. **Building Trust:** When an organization follows its own code and enforces it consistently, it builds trust among employees, customers, partners, and stakeholders.


In summary, a Code of Conduct is a critical document that helps shape the ethical and cultural foundation of an organization while providing guidance and accountability for employees' behavior. It ultimately contributes to the overall success and sustainability of the organization.



*SEPARATE ACKNOWLEDGMENT FORM: THE BEST!*

The best practice for acknowledging an organizational Code of Conduct is to have a separate acknowledgment form that individuals are required to sign. Here's why this approach is commonly preferred:


1. **Clarity:** A separate acknowledgment form makes it clear that the individual has read and understood the Code of Conduct. It distinguishes between simply receiving the document and actively agreeing to comply with it.


2. **Accountability:** Having a dedicated acknowledgment form provides a written record of each individual's commitment to adhere to the Code of Conduct. This record can be important in case any disputes or violations arise in the future.


3. **Legal Protection:** In some cases, a separate acknowledgment form can provide legal protection for the organization. It demonstrates that individuals were made aware of the rules and agreed to follow them.


4. **Accessibility:** It's easier to manage and store individual acknowledgment forms separately from the full Code of Conduct document. This can be useful for record-keeping and auditing purposes.


5. **Tracking Compliance:** A separate form allows for efficient tracking of who has and hasn't acknowledged the Code of Conduct. This is especially important for larger organizations.


While including a space for acknowledgment directly below the Code of Conduct document may seem more convenient, it may not provide the same level of clarity, formality, and accountability as a separate acknowledgment form. Therefore, organizations often choose the latter approach for the reasons mentioned above.

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

JUSTIFIABLE FINE ENFORCEMENT MEASURE

 Ensuring that fines for going against a set of instructions, misusing infrastructure, or failing to provide services are justifiable involves a fair and transparent process. Here are some justified measures to put in place:


1. **Clear and Detailed Regulations**: Ensure that the instructions, rules, and regulations governing the use of infrastructure or provision of services are well-documented, easily accessible, and clearly communicated to all relevant parties. This prevents confusion or misunderstandings.


2. **Fair Enforcement**: Implement enforcement procedures that are fair and consistent. Avoid arbitrary decision-making. Use objective criteria to determine violations, and ensure that all parties are treated equally.


3. **Due Process**: Provide individuals or entities subject to fines with an opportunity for due process. This may involve the right to appeal, an impartial review process, and the ability to present their side of the case.


4. **Proportional Penalties**: Ensure that fines are proportionate to the severity of the violation. Minor infractions should result in lesser fines, while major violations may warrant more significant penalties.


5. **Transparency**: Make the fine calculation process transparent. Clearly outline how fines are calculated and what factors are considered. This transparency helps build trust in the system.


6. **Public Accountability**: Consider involving an independent oversight body or regulatory authority to oversee fine enforcement. This can help prevent abuse of power and ensure that fines are justifiable.


7. **Education and Awareness**: Provide education and awareness campaigns to inform the public or users about the rules and potential fines. This helps prevent unintentional violations.


8. **Regular Review and Updates**: Periodically review and update the rules and fine structures to ensure they remain relevant and effective.


9. **Alternative Remedies**: Explore alternatives to fines, such as warnings, community service, or corrective actions, depending on the nature of the violation.


10. **Data Privacy**: When collecting data for fine enforcement, ensure that it complies with data privacy regulations and is used only for legitimate purposes.


11. **Feedback Mechanisms**: Establish mechanisms for individuals or entities to provide feedback or raise concerns about fine enforcement. This helps identify and address issues in the system.


12. **Documentation and Records**: Maintain thorough records of all fine-related activities, including violations, investigations, and decisions. This documentation can be essential in case of disputes.


13. **Regular Audits**: Conduct regular audits of the fine enforcement process to ensure it operates fairly and efficiently.


By implementing these measures, you can help ensure that fines are justifiable, transparent, and equitable, promoting compliance and fairness within your system or organization.

Friday, September 1, 2023

PRIVATE SCHOOLS' GROWTH HACKING!

 *PRIVATE SCHOOLS & GROWTH HACKING: WHY AND HOW?*


INTRODUCTION 

In the context of 21st-century private school business, growth hacking refers to using innovative and data-driven strategies to rapidly expand enrollment, enhance brand visibility, and improve overall success. It involves leveraging digital marketing, technology, and creative approaches to attract and engage students and parents in a competitive educational landscape. Growth hacking recognizes the evolving preferences of modern families and leverages various online platforms, social media, personalization, and experimentation to achieve remarkable growth outcomes efficiently and cost-effectively. The goal is to stand out, adapt to changing trends, and create a unique and compelling educational experience that resonates with the demands of the 21st century.


THE GOAL OF GROWTH HACKING


Growth hacking for private schools involves using creative, data-driven strategies to rapidly increase enrollment and overall success. It typically involves leveraging digital marketing, social media, referral programs, and personalized outreach to attract students and parents. The goal is to find innovative ways to achieve growth without traditional, often slower methods of marketing and promotion.


ENABLERS OF GROWTH HACKING


Private schools' growth hacking success relies on several key factors:


1. **Digital Marketing:** Utilizing targeted online advertising, SEO, and content marketing to reach prospective students and parents where they spend their time – on the internet.


2. **Personalization:** Tailoring communication and offerings to individual needs and preferences, creating a more engaging and relevant experience for potential students and their families.


3. **Referral Programs:** Implementing referral incentives for current students, parents, and alumni to encourage them to refer new students, leveraging existing networks.


4. **Data Analytics:** Continuously analyzing data to identify trends, preferences, and areas for improvement, enabling schools to refine their strategies for maximum impact.


5. **Social Media Engagement:** Actively participating on social platforms, showcasing school culture, achievements, and activities to create a strong online presence and attract attention.


6. **Innovative Partnerships:** Collaborating with complementary businesses or organizations to expand reach and offer unique benefits to students and their families.


7. **Content Creation:** Producing valuable content, such as blogs, videos, and webinars, that addresses common questions and concerns of potential students and parents.


8. **User Experience Optimization:** Ensuring that the school's website and online application process are user-friendly and streamlined for easy navigation and enrollment.


9. **Events and Workshops:** Hosting events, workshops, or webinars that showcase the school's strengths, faculty, and unique features, giving prospective families a taste of what the school offers.


10. **Continuous Experimentation:** Trying out new ideas, testing different strategies, and adapting based on the results to stay ahead in a rapidly changing landscape.


CONCLUSION 

Remember, the key is to be adaptable, responsive to feedback, and to create a positive and compelling narrative around the private school's offerings.

How does a good husband respond when his wife is upset?

When the Storm Clouds Gather: A Husband's Guide to Navigating a Wife's Upset Marriage, a beautiful tapestry woven with love, respect...